It’s 3am and my wife hasn’t made it to bed yet. I worry she isn’t getting enough sleep but I know she is able to rest when needed. This deadline of March 15th is hanging over our head as we grow closer and closer to the birth of our first child. It is amazing the way fear turns to excitement, excitement turns into doubt, doubt turns back into excitement. It’s exhausting…
Ever since the “We’re Pregnant!” moment, I have dealt with many emotions. The ability to calmly resolve issues with my wife has become my newest skill; one of which I will never forget. Now, in these last few weeks, the feelings have turned into a grey, murky fog with this beacon of light in the distance. We know that like everything else, things of most importance are worth waiting for. We continue to hurry up and wait while baby Gus takes in his last days in the womb.
I suspect the day he arrives I will be unbelievably inebriated with love and happiness. I will flurry about until I catch my breath while my angst grows wiry trying to learn quickly the in’s and out’s of parenthood/fatherhood. I have heard the warnings and the expectations of others and waded through them fairly easily. Loss of sleep and mountains of poopy diapers in the coming years are the least of my worries. I worry about being a father.
I can only hope to challenge Gus and give him the tools to navigate this world in his life to come. I am never one to worry about things but I do not want to miss the opportunity to do everything I can to make sure baby Gus is prepared for what lies ahead. The friends that are for life, the friends that become enemies, the heartbreaks, the good times, the bad times. Of course, these are all before he is 2 years old, right?!
So, we sit around the apartment, waiting for the day our lives to change forever. Man…..I can’t wait!